| Lynz's Humorous Domain | |||||||||||||||||
| the funniest site this side of the internet |
Prayer before eating a school lunch-Dear god, please smite whatever bacteria thrives in the food i am about to ingest before it smies me. May the fish be white, the lettuce green, and the gravy a reconizable color. My the meal contain no portions which slither away, or devour the other items on my plate for itself. May my body always remain a holy vessel to cleanse and ward off the chemicals, preservatives, and toxic wastes which surly lie within this sad cafeteria meal. AmenPrayer for a snow day-O dear god, master of all precipitations, may thy massive flakes continue to fall at rapid pace; may thy Doppler Radar show ever increasing clouds and mighty snowstorms; may thy highways and slternate routes, and yea, even the bridges and overpasses, be dangerously iced and snarled with traffic; may thy School Superintendent declare a snow day a snow emergancy for this day and ever more. Amen | ||||||||||||||||
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Prayer before a blind date- Great spirit, i am about to go on a date with one of your creatures. I beseech thee, when it is said that he/she has a "nice personality," may it not mean that he has the charm and sex appeal of an obese k-mart cashier. May he/she not be a geek, chronic drooler, or a fan of Kenny G. Most of all, may he/she maybe free of foul odors and easily transmitted diseases. Amen. Prayer before a sex ed. lecture- O God Almighty, who has seen us naked from birth, have mercy on our souls and protect us from those "experst" who reduce the wonderous ecstasy of sex to bio., using terms such as "spermatozoa," "fallopian tubes," and "zygote." Spare me from excessive giggling during the in depth discussion on the "function of a gonads." May the condom demonstration not involve fresh produce. finally, may i get to know the biblical sence the babe/hunk in the third row, thwo seats in front of me, so that we may put this abundance of enlightenment we have gained there into pratice. Amen. | good luck when school starts, I hope this helps. | ||||||||||||||||
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| i'll be updating soon, so besure to come back and visit. |
I hope this helps you no matter how horible of a school you have. I'll be putting in different jokes in just a few weeks. Thank you Lynz. P.S. check out some of my links. | ||||||||||||||||
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